Snowfall Of A Serene Life
by bluenessie83
Summary: Reflection of Life


Snowfall Of A Serene Life  
by kimraver  
  
Summary: Reflection on life by a Third Watch character  
Disclaimer: I own nothing unfortunately. All characters and anything else Third Watch all belong to John Wells and Co.  
  
I wrote this story just over a year ago, following the episode "The Relay" so I had no idea of what they were to do on the show, this was just my interpretation of what I wanted to see happen.  
Tell me what you think. Email me at: nessie@rogers.com  
  
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As I sit here watching the snow cover everything it touches, I wonder if life can get any better? I've come so far in life and accomplished so many thing that it's too late to turn back; to five up everything I've worked so hard for. I look at the peaceful sleeper beside me, not only wanting to just stay in his arms for all time, but to cherish every moment I'm alive. Ever since 9/11, I've had more appreciation for life now. Every breath I take, every milisecond more I'm alive, I'm thankful. I'm finally, after a year, overcoming my sleepless nights, my horrifying nightmares, and the thought that I do nothing but hurt others. Maybe it's because of the man next to me, of the fact that out of anything I could so to my son, that would be the worst.  
  
After Bobby died, everything went to Hell, literally! I thought I could cope; I was always good at dealing with loses as a kid; but this was much different than all the others. Could it have been because we worked together every day for five years,or that I loved him so much? For the longest time following his death, I couldn't sleep. I denied to others that anything was wrong, but more, I denied myself from grieving properly. I took sleeping pills, but they only kept me awake. Everytime I close my eyes, I alaways saw Bobby. At first he looked just fine, like nothing had every happened to him, but then he just started to bleed and always moved just out of my reach. He kept calling my name, asking for my help, but I could never catch up to him. Just when I thought the nightmare was over and I would face reality, there he was. A gun, pointed right at my head on the verge of being fired. His face haunted me, sometimes more so than Bobby's. The man responsible for all of this; Paulie Fuentes. There isn't a moment that doesn't go by that I just wish I could hurt him as he hurt me, but that would only sink me to his level.  
  
I've finally regained almost everyone's trust. There are some who still may not approve of what I did, or stll believe I'm not close to being or getting better. There isn't a day where I wish I could take that day back, where I just wished I would have thought things through. If I had only gone to pick up Joey from soccer, maybe none of this would have happened. Or maybe it was just meant to happen, it just needed to find the right moment. At least now I can admit to others, as well as to myself, that it wasn't an accident; I tried to kill myself. That's all in the past now and I'm glad I'm able to move on.  
  
Last night was a lot of fun, almost too much fun. I felt like a kid again. I think Joey had the most fun out of the three of us. I see it in the way he walks, talks, laughs, and smiles that he enjoys spending time with Bosco and me. He just can't seem to get enough of Bos. It could be because Bosco is great with kids, or maybe because he has as much energy as Joey and is like a kid himself. After work, we headed off to the movies to see "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius". We then went for dinner and then to Joey's newest play area, Chelsea Piers. This place is not just for kids, but a place for adults who want to be kids again. Seeing as how we were out pretty late and much closer to Bosco's place than mine, he let us brash here. The only problem will be that Jimmy and Joey are to spend the weekend together and I'm sure Jimmy is just going to enjoying coming to pick Joey up here!  
  
I think that Bosco and I make a good couple. It's not as if I was looking to get into a relationship anytime soon, it just kinda happened. So, we had a few encounters previously but nothing ever spurred from them. I always assumed he liked me, even from the first moment we met, some odd years ago. He played the whole 'hard to get'. He always tried to ask me out very subtly, but I always denied. I mean, Jimmy and I were still technically together. And how was I to tell him that I'm on the path to divorce from my cheating husband of five years and oh yea, we have a 5 year-old son together. Common, who'd want to date a now single mom appraoching her late 20's? Obviously he did.  
  
So, even after a few social dates with others from work around, we just drifted apart. There were no sparks flying at that time so we just got into other relationships. Me, with any guy I could find, but Bobby, and him that little hoochie girl Nicole or something. What brought us back together was a strange yet interesting encounter. It happened after a tragic event, where 4 teenagers were killed in a horrific car crash that we all witness. Next thing we knew after sitting in his car in silence, we were going at it. Not exactly the brightest thing to do, but I don't think either of us could help ourselfs. After that, there wasn't a relationship but the tension was there, that we knew something had happened and we should continue, but hey, we all know how inter-work relationships work, they barely last! Well, hey, I'll give it another shot, I mean, I think I can say this, he may be another 'one'. I just hope it all works out and who knows, it may be permanent. Only time will tell, and I'm taking everything one step at a time.  
  
I feel him stirring next time me, so I think I'll greet him good morning. Here's to the future!  
  
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End file.
